Here we go, baby's first listacle!
Turns out there are unlimited ways to introduce a comic onto the stage, so why use the same lines? Forget that, why not just make some crap up?
Well that's exactly what my co-host CJ and I get up to at The Red Star Rock Bar during our Open Mic night *cough* every 2nd and 4th Thursday of the month *cough.*
At the request of our buddy and fellow comic Dave " Three Clap" Hines, I have put together a list of some sort for people to use if they so choose. So, without further ado, I give you...
An Arbitrary List of My Personal Favorites
1. "Neighbors have received noise complaints for [his/her] singing, give it up for _______!"
2. "This [person] was huge on vine, but now that's dead and no one cares, clap your hands for _________!"
3. "They are legally required to register their fists as foreign agents, give it up for ________!"
4. "This person just got back from the Jumanji realm, clap it up for _________!"
5. "This next [person] is writing me into their will and just learned that this mic is legally binding, give it up for ___________!"
6. *Out of towner special: "This [person] is all the way from the new solar system that NASA just discovered, let's welcome __________!
7. "This [guy/gal] attended a Bear Grylls piss drinking seminar last weekend, clap it up for ______!
8. "This [person] is the captain of the S.S. Poverty, make some noise for _________!
9. "This [person] was voted next dank meme 2018, give it up for __________!
10. They were abducted by Alien Ant Farm, keep it going for _________!
There you have it folks. Please feel free to use these intros for whatever reason, open mics, karaoke, trivia, bingo tournaments, in the classroom, during an argument, job interviews, or whenever the mood strikes you.
We wont judge, but they might.